Men as Mentors - Richard Rohr and Sergio Milandri - Part 10

Start with three minutes of silence or a piece of evocative music..

Part 10 Money

We are each measured and marked. From our first gasp of air to our last sigh we are evaluated and compared by a world that needs to rate and label us. Whether we are tall or short, clever or clumsy: externals define and box us. And money is the measure. How much do we have? It is made our medium. It is the external framework on which we lie exposed and examined. We are seen and known by our wealth or poverty, our influence or weakness. But is this the real person?

Sadly for many of us the answer is, “Yes”, this has become our measure of ourselves too. Without other means of knowing if we are acceptable or not, money can become the means by which we value our very selves. We can often trace our life stories by what we did or didn’t have. Rohr says,“This is why directing one’s life toward the making of money is so dangerous. It is a life commitment to what is inherently meaningless and worthless, yet onto it we project all sorts of value and importance.” (pg 62)

Even sadder, our relationships, which should be where we find a different measure may not help much as they are often also woven with conditions for being “enough”, and even here money may be in control. Many family issues are around money. And so we are hung like flies on a spider web, sacrificed on the means of our measure.

But this is all about the outer person, our material, visible self. What of the inner me? How do I measure my real self? How do I measure a growing relationship? Am I more than just what is seen on the outside? Who am I without all I own and influence?. How do I disengage from the framework that keeps me measured?

In reflecting on pioneering ourselves as we were doing last week, this is the area that causes most discomfort. The difficulty of facing our fears and exposing our illusions is that there is no measure and reward for it. There is no socially accepted precedent for it, so why would we want to do it? There is little role modelling for swimming upstream.

In the face of so strong a life direction to make money our measure, all else seems like a waste. So, can we ‘waste’ time, especially when “time is money”? If time is not money for us, what is behind most of the pressure in our lives? Can we waste time on ourselves? Can we waste ourselves for another. Can we waste ourselves for love? How much does love cost?

How do we measure reality? Our inner reality. Is it more than, less than, enough?

How do we measure the risk of becoming real to ourselves? How do we measure meaning? How do we measure a meaningful life, especially if there are not many trophies on display? Can we see that we often go to the market of our relationships offering a respectable self, with enough to show that is productive and acceptable?

The question now is: can we be part of a new measure? Like God “who does not look at outer appearances but at the heart”. Can we change our currency to what really matters to the heart. Can we change our money to that which our souls recognise? Can we begin to live by an inner measure, not by money?


“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters;
and you who have no money, come buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labour on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare
Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live.”
Isaiah 55 1-3

Reflection (10 minutes in silence)
How does God measure you? How does it feel?

Journal (10 minutes)
Write down some of your feelings and responses.
Connect with each other in the group. Share some of your fears about your measure.

At home, Notice what you spend your life on.

Read chapter 11 of Richard Rohr’s “From Wild Man to Wise Man”