Men as Mentors - Richard Rohr and Sergio Milandri - Part 11

Start with three minutes of silence or a piece of evocative music..

Part 11. Father, Where Were You?

Father, where were you all these years?
You were there but your heart was not. I did not know you.
You were near but a door was sealed between us.
I saw you but I could not know your fears or your pain,
and because you hid yours, you could not see mine.

I have wandered alone in my heart,
wondering where you were going in yourself,
what you were thinking, what you were feeling.
Could you know what you felt?

So many times I wanted to share a joy with you,
a discovery or a frustration, but you were not there.
I was needing you, wanting you, confused by why you did not, or could not see me.

Now I am realising I am like you. You are in me, and I am in you.
You did not want to look at yourself,
your failures were all too real to you.
In me you hoped and dreamed for what you could not be,
but when you saw me as yourself you rejected me as you had rejected yourself.
Your inadequacy angered you and you pushed me away,
You closed your heart to you and to me.
And your loneliness is in me.

And now I wonder who knows me, who sees me.
As I look into their eyes I see your vacant stare.
Where you were not seen you do not see.
As I close myself to the world I feel your sadness at lost life.

Is there another way?
As I look at others, do I see them, do I really see them
or do I only see what they are not?

Can I father a life-giving presence?
Can I show my mistakes or say sorry?
Can I share my failures and loss?
Do I protect those who trust me or do I expose their faults to cover my shame?
Can I carry the pain of my world and hold back the waves of despair?
Can I change the patterns given me and start a new story?
Will I dare to risk all I think I am for all I truly am?

Thank you Father God that you see me as you saw my father. You believe in the me you made me to be out of yourself. You heal my father and me with your Fathering self.

Reflection (10 minutes in silence)
Let some of your experiences of your father come to mind.
Journal (15 minutes)
Write some lines in response to your memories of your experiences of your father.
Connect with each other in the group. Share some of your sense of your fathering.

This week. Reflect on your fathered and unfathered self. Read chapter 12 of Richard Rohr’s “From Wild Man to Wise Man”