Men as Mentors - Richard Rohr and Sergio Milandri - Part 17

Start with three minutes of silence or a piece of evocative music.

Part 17 . The Strong Man.

Where is he? Where has the strong man gone? What has become of him? History is replete with heroes who were strong and heroic, who went out and conquered foes, physical and spiritual. But who is the hero now? What does he look like? The movies show him as a young daredevil with a machine gun. Many women know him as the lover turned abuser who has abandoned her and the children. Churches and supermarkets know him as the "nice" man whose strength is passivity. He has no opinion of his own and would not stand up for it if he had one.

Something has got lost. Is it women wanting men to be soft and sensitive on their terms? Is it organisations favouring compliant employees who will maximise their profits? Is it peer pressure that makes men dysfunctional with alcohol and drugs to blur their fear and lack of purpose. Or is it modern life that has taken over the male role and does everything for us from protection to provision, all we have to do is follow the arrows?

Whatever it is, manhood is in crisis and everyone suffers as a result. Women are left holding the baby not only literally, but in terms of the entire social fabric as well. They need to be strong where the masculine is passive or absent. They "carry the can" emotionally where men have lost touch with their feelings. They are desperately holding relationships together where men have abdicated responsibility for them. The social fabric has become one of arguing on the level of ideologies rather than taking leadership. Expediency, compromise and corruption have taken the place of courage and commitment.

So where are they, the strong men? They are there but they have been sedated. Manhood has been emasculated by the very real abuse it got away with in the past. It is not trusted with its very own strength. Manhood has blown its reputation and lost its credibility. It is no longer respected or even wanted.

So where to now? As the wise one said, we have to begin at the beginning. Men have to regain their reputation by the long road of being consistently real and reliable. They need to go back to the place where they left the road of their own authenticity and make amends or they will never make it back. They need to commit and carry through however much it costs and so build up a better track record. They are to take the risks of finding their voice and of expressing their heart even when it is not well received. They need to re-regain their inner strength and stand in it, eschewing violence or abuse, including the emotional and verbal kinds.

If ever men needed to risk being their true selves and reinventing the way they engage, it is now. Manhood needs to trust itself where others have lost the hope that the heart of a man can be pure, true and strong. We have the heart of Jesus and this heart must again shape the way we live. We will not be embraced for some time to come, but we can no longer allow others to define the way we are by the way things were in the past. We cannot allow the frozen icebergs of attitude to sink the many good men there are, men of strength and courage.

Reflection (10 minutes in silence)
What do you feel about renewed strong manhood?
How will you respond to it?

Journal
Write down some of your reflections.

Connect with each other in the group.Share your reflections in the group.

This week. Reflect on your internal manhood. Is it passive or present? Can you stand ?
Read chapter 18 of Richard Rohr's "From Wild Man to Wise Man".