Men as Mentors - Richard Rohr and Sergio Milandri - Part 6

Start with three minutes of silence.

Part 6. Initiation

Initiation is about earthing the burgeoning will-to-live which thrusts each one of us into life. Our very survival depends on the establishment and development of our real, growing person. From our early years this indomitable life-force drives us to forge a new world of possibilities. But, this needs to be moulded and directed if it is to give life, avoid losing reality and not become cynical and destructive. Just like an electrical charge which can be dangerous when exposed, but which becomes usefully transformative on being earthed and contained, so too our motivation and power are life-giving if they are trained and embodied. br />
Though most of us have not had the benefit of formal initiation, we all experienced some of the effects of this process through the life circumstances which have shaped us and enabled us to live our strength in these areas. In other parts events broke us and here our function and power became compromised and could not form appropriately, resulting in wounds which still hurt ourselves and others.

Initiation involves rituals which enable movement from outer definition to inner ‘being-ness’. We leave external controls to find our inner centre and strength. When we are at home in our being, our power is not an added-on thing but is simply, “This is me.” If our power is forged in our being we do not need to remind ourselves of it nor bear symbols to prove it. We have no need to compare, bully or force anyone to bend to it. When we’re in touch with ourselves, we’re a non-anxious presence and don’t doubt ourselves asking, “Who am I”? In fact this question seems ridiculous when I am here, standing in my very reality, and we can say, “Just look and you will see who I am!”

Initiation takes us from, “Who must I be”? to, “Who am I”? and then to, “This is who I am.” - from trying to be something to owning and accepting who we already are. Each of us is ‘being’ and ‘becoming. We are forming from the inside out. The mystery and substance of who we really are is emerging.

Without the inevitable wounding of life’s initiating, our power can be like that of Icarus who wanted to reach the sun. When we cannot realise it we easily become disillusioned and lash out in anger and abuse. Such is idealism that if not bounded and grounded in reality can turn on self and others in hurt and vengeance.

This topic applies equally to women who find themselves socially in increasingly powerful positions and need to experience the containment, grounding and directing of their power to become authentic.

For both genders initiation is about facing our real self and letting go. This is not as an idea but a felt reality. As we let go of our external dramatisation of life, we begin to trust the inner gathering and solidifying of our real self.

Reflection and Dwell on Feelings (10 minutes in silence, journals closed)
Reflect on your own initiation into life. What shaped your power and what broke your spirit? Feel the feelings of strength that come up and the grief of the losses.

Journal the following Questions. (10 minutes.)
1. In what areas are you strong and self contained?
2. Where are your uninitiated areas? Areas where you are weak and unsure of yourself or have to keep challenging and bullying people to concede.
3. What are you realising about these areas?
4. What are you sensing you need to begin doing about them?

Connecting with each other in the group. Share around the circle something of what you are feeling now.

This week. Reflect on your feeling patterns and explore new ways to respond to them.
Read chapter 7 of Richard Rohr’s “From Wild Man to Wise Man”