Tag Archives: Relationship

Weekly Reflections

Accepting parts of ourselves that ‘don’t work’ can enable us to have better relationships

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There are parts of ourselves we like, and parts of ourselves we avoid

All of us are at home with the parts of ourselves that we like. These we elevate and present to the world. Yet this is not all of who we are. We often don’t have a good relationship with the parts that ‘don’t work’, and have separated some places into ‘No-Go’ zones. So, in order to cope with our lives, we don’t embrace some of our painful emotions that are not working so well in us – like our fear, remorse, guilt. We find it hard to appreciate those unlovely places. We might fill our empty spaces with noise and obligations so that these emotions get quietened or at least pushed down again. For we do not feel comfortable with our powerless feelings.
Continue reading Accepting parts of ourselves that ‘don’t work’ can enable us to have better relationships →

Weekly Reflections

Walking in Freedom from Guilt

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When we were young, it was easy for our rule-keepers to make us feel guilty for something we did. With our tender consciousness, we were susceptible to taking on a belief that in some way or other we were not okay. Instead of simply learning a healthy response of acknowledging and asking forgiveness for a misstep, we might have been left feeling overwhelmed and condemned. The negative side of guilt is that it so easily left us with a shade of unworthiness.
Continue reading Walking in Freedom from Guilt →

Weekly Reflections

“Where does it hurt?” Healing our wounds in order to live more fully

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Just as we have a body, we have an inner self. There are similarities between our physical and our unseen parts. If we reflect on our body and how we care for it, we can learn a lot about about how to tend to our inner ‘body’. Just as we eat well and exercise to keep healthy, so too we nurture and love our inner self.
Continue reading “Where does it hurt?” Healing our wounds in order to live more fully →

Relating to Others, Weekly Reflections

Beauty, Our hearts’ yearning

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The most important aspect of our being is our relationships. Like a fish in water, we can take them for granted and hardly notice their importance. However, relationships don’t just happen. As we’ve all experienced, without our nurture and work, they can wither and die. It’s up to us to be aware and to take responsibility for those we have in our lives.

Why do we stop engaging with others, with what is so important? We can easily miss out on a precious relationship through being over-stressed, over-busy, or too hurt.

It may help us to look at our relationship with something like beauty, which is the ‘water we all swim in’, and yet something we can also so easily miss.  Continue reading Beauty, Our hearts’ yearning →

Relating to Others, Weekly Reflections

In connection we find life

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Every person is in relation to other human beings. How people treated us taught us how to relate. We tend to take relationships for granted and to presume that they will always be there until we get hurt. In our busy lifestyles we can forget that in order for relationships to thrive they need to be nurtured. 

As with the food we eat, we can get by on very basic nutrition. We’re not meant to simply survive on junk food. We all know what a specially-prepared meal does for us. It’s a delight for our senses, giving us joy and feeding us at more levels than simply physically.

Similarly, in order to be nourished by relationships, we need ongoing, intentional investment in them. Continue reading In connection we find life →

Relating to God, Relating to Others, Weekly Reflections

“I pray that they will be one…”

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At our deepest place of union we come to rest. Not needing to prove something or to explain ourselves, we can just be. Our journey to this point of connection with another does take risk, but it is here that we give our greatest gift – that of presence. 

The space between us and others is never an empty one and if we are aware, we’ll increasingly become skilled at reading another’s presence. We’ll know when we are with someone who, say, has a heavy heart.
Continue reading “I pray that they will be one…” →

Relating to Others, Weekly Reflections

Our Deepest Longing

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We are creatures that are made to give life. At every stage of our relating to others we are making choices which will either be creative and life-giving or destructive. The investment we make to create a positive, loving space is essential to our union with others. 

Intimacy starts with us, for we can only be as connected with another as we are able to value and trust ourselves. We will not be able to respect or love others if we have a low estimate of our own worth. Life batters and bruises all of us, but we are meant to persist with bringing light and healing to the world. Intimacy is a hard-won reality, but it is very worthwhile. Continue reading Our Deepest Longing →

Relating to Others, Weekly Reflections

Longing for Intimacy – Into Fear

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If we picture ourselves as a house, we can imagine the different relational spaces as rooms we inhabit. Reflection on these can reveal how connected and how at home we really are in ourselves.

Within us may be areas that are full of light, while others may be closed off to ourselves and to others. These rooms are of differing sizes depending on the gravity we have given them. We may only occasionally feel able to show some of them to others. For example, what does the room of our body feel like? Are we satisfied and at peace, or are we carrying painful things in relation to our bodies? Continue reading Longing for Intimacy – Into Fear →

Weekly Reflections

Unconditional Acceptance

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Can we, with God, learn to love the less-than-lovely parts?

As we come to see ourselves more and more clearly, we choose either to accept or reject that self. The big question is whether we are able to find increasing acceptance for what might not be acceptable in our society’s eyes. Since few of us experienced truly unconditional love, many don’t know what this actually looks like. We have been taught to turn away from ourselves or others when the less-than-attractive becomes visible. We’ve also been habituated into always trying to show what is nice about ourselves to others and of not feeling at all comfortable with their seeing our less-than-lovely parts. Thus, we have imprisoned ourselves and others in this well-known societal game as we continually judge those negative parts and inwardly criticise our ambivalence.  Continue reading Unconditional Acceptance →

Events

22 May – Sans Pareil Session: 12 levels of relating

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We’ve been engaging with a series on getting to know others in ever deepening ways. Join us this Monday night.

Date: 22 May 2017. These Sessions take place on most Monday evenings.
Times: From 6 until 7 pm we’ll have a bring-and-share meal as a group in the Sans Pareil barn. From 7:15 for 7:30 pm until 9 pm Sergio will lead us in our core teaching, reflection, discussion and exercise times. Coffee and tea will be available afterwards.
Address: Sans Pareil, 1 Welbevind Way, Hout Bay, Cape Town.
Cost: R100 per person, paid at the door. Discounts are available if needed. No booking is required.
Extras: For the meal, please bring a plate for mains (not dessert) and a drink to share. Please bring a dish that doesn’t need to be heated.

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